IMAGE OF A SAINT APPEARS ON TOAST.

Some, possibly inappropriate, satire I penned in 2015 in response to a newspaper article where a similar claim was reported.

“It’s a miracle!” declares local pastor.
Earlier this morning, in the lonely parish manse of St John’s Lutheran Church in Tanunda, fragments of liverwurst rearranged themselves to form the distinct image of a saintly figure.
“It’s an icon in pig off-cuts” said Pastor Fox. “I knew there was something metaphysical going on – the atmosphere was … well, you know ‘cool’ and ‘spiritual’. The dulcet tones of Fran Kelly coming from the tranny, combined with the rays of divine sunlight reflected from the roof of my daughter’s Nissan Pulsar outside the kitchen window told me that Tuesday morning was very special.” “This is a genuine miracle” he went on “that more than rivals others seen in this state. The church car park is available to pilgrims and tourists”.

😉

THE NAIRNE KNIFING …

The judge looked over his spectacles.

“Fox, you are a miserable contemptible grub” he spat.

“There is no point denying your crime – you were caught in action, knife in hand.”

“You have paint on your hands – and this is not the first time!”

“You are a serial knifer of the worse kind – Have you forgotten your grotesque unnatural Silhouette Series?

And try as you may, surely your disgusting obsession with cliff faces cannot be wiped from your warped and wicked mind.”

“Now – look at me, look at me! – today you have crawled out from whatever dark and filthy hole you call home and combined the two crimes – Silhouettes on a Cliff Face”

“Is there no end to your filth!?”

“How do you feel about this, Ant Fox my lad?”

“Are you sorry? Do you regret what you’ve done?”

(A shuffling of feet and clearing of throat).

The old bent artist stammered a reply

– “I don’t regret it yet – it’s a work in progress!”

This Is The News (Ode to Emma)

ABC News is on here in Adelaide.

I think Emma might have done something (subtle) with her hair, and she isn’t wearing a jacket.

Now, she looks very nice, but I am a Lutheran – we don’t like change – it makes us uncomfortable. …. She isn’t wearing a jacket, but a very attractive red top instead.

She certainly is lovely woman, intelligent, well spoken, well groomed – and she really is a great news reader, but now I am so uncomfortable … I’ll have to watch through my fingers.

I hope she’s back to normal on Monday.

….. next thing you know, a light bulb will need changing, and it’ll just be just all too much … all too much …

Oh change – don’t let it happen!

The Question

Rabbit wrinkled his nose. “I have a question”.

The Major frowned at his furry roundness.

“What?”

“Can I talk?” puzzled Rabbit.

“What?”

“I mean, do I have the capability to converse – one to one or to a group of listeners, sharing my thoughts and feelings, my fears and joys, my wants and needs?”

“What?”

“I’ll take that as ‘No'” lamented Rabbit.

A Rabbit Tail Tale

Count Confusabunovich the famous Transylvanian rabbit hypnotiser fixed his crazed, Vincent Price-like gaze on the eyes of his furry captive.
“I have you, my fluffy bunny-one … look into my eyes – you will not escape sleep this time”

Rabbit rolled his eyes and waved his lop ears.
“Oh give it a rest you toothy git and give me my carrot!”

“Oh” exclaimed the Count.

A Rare Archival Magic Lantern Slide Of The Famous Transylvanian Rabbit Hypnotist Majesto Confusabunovich.

Mods & Bokkers

Genetic Modification of Plants – has it gone too far?

I found this in a supermarket
– startling evidence that genetic engineering of food crop plants has gone overboard! …

Ask yourselves, what results could we anticipate if crumbs from one of these modified crops were to blow into the fields of farmers growing straight normal Bok choy? I shudder to think!

Isn’t it time geneticists stopped playing Divine Baker?!