Some, possibly inappropriate, satire I penned in 2015 in response to a newspaper article where a similar claim was reported.
“It’s a miracle!” declares local pastor. Earlier this morning, in the lonely parish manse of St John’s Lutheran Church in Tanunda, fragments of liverwurst rearranged themselves to form the distinct image of a saintly figure. “It’s an icon in pig off-cuts” said Pastor Fox. “I knew there was something metaphysical going on – the atmosphere was … well, you know ‘cool’ and ‘spiritual’. The dulcet tones of Fran Kelly coming from the tranny, combined with the rays of divine sunlight reflected from the roof of my daughter’s Nissan Pulsar outside the kitchen window told me that Tuesday morning was very special.” “This is a genuine miracle” he went on “that more than rivals others seen in this state. The church car park is available to pilgrims and tourists”.
The Oldster Gang rode into town. They mosied on into the saloon and fronted the bar. “Line ’em up, barkeep” they snarled. A hush fell over the saloon room. “And a nice little bowl of yummy, nibbly, nutty things too please – if that’s OK with you” the desperadoes added.
Count Confusabunovich the famous Transylvanian rabbit hypnotiser fixed his crazed, Vincent Price-like gaze on the eyes of his furry captive. “I have you, my fluffy bunny-one … look into my eyes – you will not escape sleep this time”
Rabbit rolled his eyes and waved his lop ears. “Oh give it a rest you toothy git and give me my carrot!”